Seis Puerqueños

Not really, but slightly more thoughtful than the usual posts/evil letter writing.

I have been thinking lately (and when I say lately I mean since we got back from Ecuador several months ago, but especially in the last month) about how much my own self-concept/self-worth is/was tied up in having a job. This is something I’ve never really thought about much before, because I have generally always had a job, been at school, been looking for a job, or been living out the country choosing to not have a job. We talked about when we came back if I was going to work, and it was essentially decided that if I felt good enough I could, but there was no compulsion for me to do so. And since I still felt pretty sick for the first while, and figured not too many places want to hire someone for only a couple months, I didn’t look for a job. As a result I have done a lot of… well, nothing. I’ve got some good resting, crafting, some reading, and even a small bit of exercise, but for all of that I feel like I’ve done nothing for the last 4 months.

Let me stop here and say that I surely have the most supportive husband in the world, who reminds me when I say things like this that A. I am growing a baby and B. I have made a lot of things. Unfortunately this doesn’t help a lot because A. Lots of people grow babies and have jobs or other children or other things that make them productive human beings, and B. making a lot of things is not really that big of a deal, and I should have made a lot more for all this time on my hands.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I feel like a mooch. I often feel bad for doing things like grocery shopping, buying clothes for my expanding waistline, etc. I’m not sure where this guilt is coming from, as Aaron has made it abundantly clear he is quite happy with how things are, and even encourages me to go buy more clothes. (Hah!) I have just come to the conclusion that I feel bad for not working. I feel bad for spending money that I did not earn. I have realized that little did I know but I had a great satisfaction in working, even if only making me feel productive and a contributor to society or my bank account, or whatever. About a month ago a job actually found me, and I spent a couple hours a week tutoring Spanish. And I loved it. But now it’s done, and I’m pretty sad.

I have the suspicion that once I actually have another human that I am responsible for taking care of I will feel somewhat better. At least at the end of the day I will have something to show for it besides a big belly. In the meantime I’m going to see if I can’t figure out somewhere to volunteer. At least that way I will have some way to fill my time that seems productive.

Anyway, that’s all. Sorry for the long post.

Kind lady with cute 8 month old at Joann’s,

You are nice. And friendly. And you told me I looked good when I told you I was due in October. I love you, let’s be friends.

Love,
Kelsey

P.S. Your baby was real cute. Mohawks are totally great.

Mr. Blue Corvette Driver,

First let me say that your car is ugly. Why did you get that color? Was it 50% off? Was it a gift? Yuck.

Second and more importantly, please do not hit pedestrians while they are in the crosswalk (and started crossing even before you were there) at the lovely crossroads mall parking lot. I realize you didn’t actually hit someone, but you came awfully close to hitting me, making me wonder if you didn’t even see me? How could you not, I almost exclusively wear bright green shirts, and have a huge belly. And, if you had not sped off in such a hurry, and had parked anywhere nearby, we would be having this conversation in person instead of you having to read it on my blog. Seriously. There was a big sign. There was a crosswalk. I am pregnant. I will destroy you if I find you again. (Come on, how many blue corvettes are there?) Trust me if my reaction time was any better you would have had a nice thud on your car from my purse. Darn slowness.

Third, this part is not to you, but to the guys sitting on the bench watching the spectacle of you trying to take my life and me throwing my arms up in anger/disgust/rage. Thanks for shouting out to me “He tried to kill you!” It made me feel like I was not overreacting in the slightest. And when I shouted back to you “and I’ve got a baby in here” and you shouted back “I know it!”, I appreciated that. Holla.

Fourth, your car is ugly, you are bad at driving, and I am pregnant. Don’t mess with me again or you will be sorry.

Thoughtfully,
Kelsey

1. I have been seeing a lot of cute babies lately. And I even mean cute newborns. This is stressful because what if my baby is ugly when it comes out, or stays ugly? I realize that I will love it anyway, and will be in denial if it is ugly, but come on, no one wants an ugly baby. And what if I knew it was ugly? And people were all lying and telling me how cute it was? That would be the worst. These are the things that keep me up at night.

2. We started our birthing classes last night. We are doing a series based on the book “Birthing From Within” in case you are familiar with it. It went pretty good. It was on Capitol Hill and taught by a really cool lady with neat dreadlocks, but was surprisingly less “hippie” than I imagined. But we were in second to last place for the hippiest couple. We will make sure to make some organic french fries for our turn to make snacks to gain a couple of spots higher in the ranking.

3. At the end of said birthing class the teacher showed us how to get comfortable to sleep. If you wonder what she taught, I will refer you back to the excellent diagram that I made. I gave my body a high-five for being so smart to know where all the pillows should go. Except I left one out, for shoulder pain you can put one under your armpit. I don’t know if this will really work because the entire weight of my body resting on my shoulder will probably not be lessened by a little pillow. But I may just have to try it. But first I will have to make it, because we are for sure out of pillows.

4. As I’m sure you were aware, it’s almost my birthday. I was at a stop light the other day and looked in my mirror and thought I saw a gray hair. Turns out it was just a hair the sun had turned light brown and since the sun was shining on it, it looked even lighter. That’s good because I think you should wait until you are 26 or have children to get any.

5. I still really like oreos. I wonder if they make organic oreos I could deep fry and bring to our birthing class for snacks. But why would you deep fry something that is already so delicious? I doubt that deep frying an oreo would make it better. Just weirder when you stuck it in milk.

6. I went to my midwife appointment on Wednesday and everything looks good. I did the glucose test and it was pretty much like drinking flat orange pop (so pretty tasty, but I missed the carbonation) but then felt like you ate 4 candy bars on an empty stomach. So all in all not too bad, just killed my desire for sugar for the rest of the day. I now start my visits every 2 weeks, which seems crazy since I still feel like I have a bazillion weeks left. Maybe they just like me. That’s what I tell myself.

7. I think that’s it. I made the baby a funny gown/robe thing, and had a lot of the funny material left over and am in the process of making Aaron a robe. It is probably the funniest robe ever created and right now without sleeves looks just like something out of those Book of Mormon drawings you see. Pictures to come when it’s done sometime soon.

The End.

So yesterday I went back to the LDS underwear store to exchange some unopened underwears for some smaller ones, because the ones I had bought before and opened were too big. I without hesitation or confusion told the lady what size I needed and she says to me:

“Are those for after the baby is born?”

Stunned, it took me a second to respond. And I didn’t even chop her in the face, although I think she deserved it. I hope the other people in the store giggled, but I didn’t notice. The worst part? I ended up getting a size bigger than I needed from the pressure.

But seriously, WHO says that?

Sometimes when I’m in bed at night I laugh at the setup that I have to do to approach being comfortable. I thought to make you laugh you should see a real great drawing of said setup. Or so I remember in the future when I am reading my own blog again.

A. Regular pillow for head

B. Regular pillow for arms

C. Regular pillow for back, sometimes a fuzzy blanket used instead

D. Special Wedge pillow I made for under belly

E. Green Bean/Celery pillow has become leg support. Notice the intricate placement of legs over and under.

Surprise another blanket and baby legs and tiny blanket for the bear and onesie for another family I used to work with in Auburn who is having their first baby girl in a week.

These all looked better in real life. I have found that I am a terrible photographer of things. I much prefer people.

Somehow I was under the assumption that if/when my belly button popped out, it would just go all at one time. About a month or so ago, it was determined that more likely than not mine was surely going to pop. Turns out it doesn’t go all at once, it goes just some at a time. On Sunday I had a gross trick where if I pushed on my belly from the inside the top half of my belly button would pop out. Really useful for freaking my dad out. By Monday or so, it was just that way by itself. So I no longer have an inny, nor an outtie. I have and inbetweenie. And it’s kind of freaky. I guess it just means the baby isn’t done yet.

I forgot that sister Tracy tagged me. But then I remembered. And I tag Tenille, Sarah, and Jonah.

A = ADVOCATE FOR: orphans
B = BEST FEATURE: giant belly
C= COULDN’T DO WITHOUT: chips
D = DREAMS AND DESIRES: a healthy baby, someone to magically clean my house.
E = ESSENTIAL ITEM: snacks or I get stabby
F= FAVORITE PAST TIME: sleeping has again become my favorite. I’m getting it while I can.
G= GOOD AT: buying lots of fabric
H = HAVE NEVER TRIED: having a baby
I = IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS: adopt Ines, buy Aaron a boat, invest somehow
J = JUNKIE FOR: oreos
K = KINDRED SPIRIT: I am lucky to have several
L = LITTLE KNOWN FACT: I eat twice in the middle of the night, 2:30 and 5:30am.
M = MEMORABLE MOMENT: I can’t remember anything. I ate a soft pretzel about 10 minutes ago and it was pretty great.
N = NEVER AGAIN WILL I: play tennis at 6 months pregnant. or do lunges pregnant, that was stupid too.
O = OCCASIONAL INDULGENCE: mcdonalds
P= PERSON I MOST ADMIRE: Rex and one million other people.
Q = QUOTE: “If you just would have given me some notice” (Justin’s newest famous line)
R = REASON TO SMILE: Being kicked by my baby
S = SORRY ABOUT: being cranky to my nice husband
T = TAG SOME FRIENDS: Tenille, Sarah, and Jonah.
U = UNINTERESTED IN: exercising, boo.
V = VERY SCARED OF: scary bad guys attacking me
W = WORST HABIT: laziness
X = X MARKS MY IDEAL VACATION SPOT: anywhere warm with warm water to swim in. but not too warm. Wait, and a really good amusement and water park.
Y = YESTERYEAR DECADE OF CHOICE: We watched a really great infomercial on TV the other day about all the musicians of the 70s and I decided we need to have a costume party based soley on this infomercial, so today I will say 70s.
Z = ZODIAC SIGN: leo