You need a chop

So yesterday I went back to the LDS underwear store to exchange some unopened underwears for some smaller ones, because the ones I had bought before and opened were too big. I without hesitation or confusion told the lady what size I needed and she says to me:

“Are those for after the baby is born?”

Stunned, it took me a second to respond. And I didn’t even chop her in the face, although I think she deserved it. I hope the other people in the store giggled, but I didn’t notice. The worst part? I ended up getting a size bigger than I needed from the pressure.

But seriously, WHO says that?

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8 Responses to You need a chop

  1. Brittany says:

    you make me laugh! always. i love how you deal with people like chopping and attacking and whatever else i’ve heard (or read) you say in the past. and your letters to strangers…classic!

    this part is for aaron:
    it is so refreshing to associate with someone that appreciates food – and recognizes quality when no one else does. i like to think i have a experienced pallet when it comes to food. simply because i live to eat (rather than eat to live). i will send kelsey my mom’s sugar cookie recipe in exchange for the mother mary’s fudge (or whatever it’s called). then you can see if the sugar cookies are the same as, or resemble the ones from your past. also, my family has a name for no bake cookies too – “gaggies”. basically because it resembles something someone gags up. i think if my family were more observant and maybe possessed a little less refinement they might be known to me today as “pooh”. because that’s really what they resemble. but then who wants to eat pooh?

    we almost called you guys last weekend because we had some ribs on hand and wanted to know how to season them. we have more ribs…so maybe you will be receiving a call from us after all?

  2. Sarah says:

    What a silly lady. Who buys maternity underwear to use after the baby is born?

    Kelsy, do you and Aaron want to go uncamping tomorrow? (See my blog)

  3. Penelope says:

    Some people never think before they talk. This was a classic.

    A piece of duct tape with the words, “Beware, I say dumb things” written on, and taped across her forehead would have been perfect!

  4. shadylady says:

    a chop across the larynx would not have been out of line.

  5. Momeree says:

    Kelsey, you’ve got to stop chopping people. It’s totally ineffective. Just hit them lightly with your car bumper and then follow them all over town for about 10 minutes so they get really scared, then when they try to run away, yell at them and tell them how rude (or whatever) they are. After that, wait about 30 minutes for the police to arrive. You get out of jail free because you are pregnant and hormonal. Works like a charm :)

  6. amy says:

    although i like momeree’s sociopath-impersonation recommendation, i gotta say, this lady deserves to be chopped. in the FACE. in fact, as a matter of principle, i would strongly encourage you to GO BACK to the store and chop her. she earned it.

  7. Jacki says:

    Those mormon underwear peddlers always think everyone is huge. When I first bought one the lady told me I needed a size one million. I could hardly get the bottoms to stay on and the neckline came down to my belly button.

  8. Robert says:

    Yeah, Kelsey, I too would’ve chopped someone in the face for that! You crack me up!

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