Today I was minding my own business, going into the kitchen to get Harmon a snack, when out of my PANT LEG climbs… A HUGE BLACK SPIDER. People, for real, that deserves all caps. A huge scary black furry sick spider came out of the pants I WAS WEARING. I screamed like a little girl, and shouted in the highest pitched voice possible “are you even kidding me?!?!?!?!?!” and then smashed it to death with a paper towel.
In your squished face, spider.