You read that right. I slacked on my Friday post, but lo and behold when I went to Ross yesterday to try to find an identical pair of jeans to my husband’s new beloved jeans, something horrifying happened. So horrifying I didn’t love it at all.
Aaron was in the dressing room trying on 17 pairs of jeans, hoping that one would be similar enough to the ones recently bought that are ever so comfy and good looking. Every so often he would come out and model them for Harmon and me. Meanwhile, we were minding our own business looking at the baskets, thinking about how nice our laundry would go into them, when I smelled a very awful smell. I first accused my child, but thought it couldn’t be since the smell was so horrifying. I took a smell of the alleged source, but it was not to blame.
After a few more minutes I looked down to see that I had stepped in poo. No, I didn’t bring it in with me, there was a pile that I had unknowingly found with my foot. In shock I again checked my child, his pant legs, wondering if by some horrifying chance we had done this. We had not. So now, I had stepped in poo, in the very back of the store. Where had this come from?
Hypothesis #1: someone tracked it in. This is not possible due to the generous amount and no other footprints leading to or from it, other than my own walking away.
Hypothesis #2: someone pooped on the floor??? I can’t imagine this could be it, because how would they do that right by the dressing room door where a kind lady is working?
Finally upon exiting, Aaron offers Hypothesis #3: Dog. This theory obviously has to be right because right next to the baskets and dressing room? Pet aisle.
People, this brings me to my next point. DO NOT. That’s right, DO NOT bring your pets into the store, unless it is a pet store which seem to welcome it. That means if you are in Factoria Mall going to the pet store, walk outside to get there, that’s why they have an outside entrance. Dogs are not people. Even good dogs will poop when they need to poop. They are dogs. And I for one don’t need to be stepping in any more piles while enjoying my lovely day shopping at Ross or Target or anywhere else I choose to shop.
I suppose this should have been entitled “why dogs should wear diapers in public” but that really would have just given the surprise ending away.