Normally my child keeps all bodily fluids to himself. Being such a large child, he wants to keep all nutrients he would lose by spitting up to himself. Except today.
I threw Giant Long Bean up on my shoulders to mess my hair up like he likes doing lately. Not 30 seconds later he burps (I’m not scared, the kid has spit up 6 times in his life, maybe a pea sized amount tops) and I feel warm goo in my hair and EAR.
Well played Harmon, well played.
Dear Everyone,
Thanks for pretending that we are not crazy for having another baby unexpectedly soon. We are pretty sure you think we are, as we would probably think you were if you chose to do the same. I know there are a few of you out there who genuinely think it’s awesome, and we want you (the rest of you) to know that we also think it is amazingly awesome and we are beyond excited about it.
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for your support, you all do a great job of making us feel loved (and not openly making us feel crazy).
Thanks,
Kelsey
I always remember the story of little Kelsey, who didn’t like to go to bed. Once my mom decided to pretend to be me, and I had to put her to bed. She asked for things like water, another book, a hug, etc., all of which I denied heartlessly. I think she was slightly worried that I interpreted her putting me to bed in the same way. I probably did. In fact, I still do. Even if she doesn’t put me to bed anymore.
Some of you are like my husband, totally reasonable humans. When you are tired, you go to bed. You have no need to dilly dally, to check your horoscope, paint your nails, or do any number of useless activities.
But some of you are like me. You hate going to bed. It’s not like I don’t like sleeping, because I love it. And now with a baby I need sleep more than ever. Maybe it’s because it takes me on any given night an hour (at least) to fall asleep? Or maybe it’s because if I didn’t have to sleep I could get more things done? (but of course I don’t) Maybe I don’t want to miss out on any of the fun that will happen if I go to bed. Of course this is not a problem now when everyone else is asleep, but whatever. Maybe it’s because I work better at night than morning? I don’t know, but for whatever reason, it’s the worst. Second only to my true arch enemy, waking up. Oh how I don’t love it.
The best part about telling people you are pregnant on April Fool’s Day is when a baby comes out of you in December. The second best part is that it means you will be pregnant on Halloween and will get to use all your great costume ideas.
To all those who didn’t believe/doubted/were confused yesterday… Thanks, you gave me everything I could have asked for in an April Fool’s Day. Plus I get another baby.
I have two this week, the second much more unloved hated than the first.
Baby Laundry
Not for the reason you might think, like having to do it so often or anything like that. No, I don’t love baby laundry for this simple reason: folding it takes 400 times longer than a basket of adult laundry. Because baby laundry is so tiny, you can fit way more pieces into a load than say mine or Aaron’s clothes. I don’t love folding laundry really at all, so when I have to hang up 18 things and fold 30 and match all the tiny tiny socks, I just don’t love it. I will survive.
Ants
Quite possibly God’s worst creation. You are disagreeing with me, thinking spiders are worse. But they are not. When you see a spider, you can get it, and you aren’t worried about 10,000 of his brothers coming right behind him. And you can get rid of a spider, but you can never fully get rid of ants. Even if you vacuum. And clean up your messes. They will just decide your kitchen is out of style and move to your bathroom. And just when you think you’ve won the war in the bathroom, they are back in the kitchen. Oh Raid, you are my friend, but I don’t know what I will do when my child starts crawling. I think the recipe Raid + Baby = Death.
Dear Upstairs Neighbor,
Although there are many many things I could write you a letter about, such as your excessive noise, awful cigarettes, and poor parking skills for example, instead I have chosen to write you about what a wus you are.
At first I thought you were a bit kind because you were worried either for my safety or the baby’s when you heard loud yelling and a burst of crying. Granted if you were thinking we were having a DV spat, you probably should have called the police. But whatever, even if you were too wussy to make sure we were ok yourself, at least you still were thinking of us.
But not so. As it turns out you called the landlord on us to complain of a strong pinesol smell. PINESOL. Last time I checked people who are all tough and have tough friends and “connections” aren’t supposed to be wussy. Especially not about smells. And really, not only did it bother you to the point of CALLING THE LANDLORD but you also had to complain to me about it? What about all those times I didn’t call the landlord? Did they mean nothing to you? I guess not.
But I should thank you for one thing, you have inspired me to clean more. With pinesol.
With fondness of a clean floor,
Kelsey
We had late church on Sunday and Aaron must have been feeling kind (or sick of the dirty bathroom) and went to town giving it a good clean. He cleaned the floors with pinesol, and instead of diluting it like one capful to a gallon, he used it directly on the floor. Yuck. It smelled pretty bad, but nothing life threatening.
Around 8pm I was feeding the baby when he decided to use his teeth for evil. I shouted “OUCH! NO!” and scared him and he started screaming. No big deal, he calmed down quick and we were all fine. But I realized our upstairs neighbor was in his office right above our room, and perhaps he thought something distressing was going on. I didn’t give it a second thought.
Just before 10pm there was a knock at our door. It was our landlord who lives next door. Aaron answered and it went like this:
A: Hi?
L: Hi, are you all ok?
A: Yeah why?
L: I got a call from upstairs, they said it smelled strong like pinesol.
A: I cleaned the floor… We are fine…
L: Ok have a good night.
Aaron and I then laughed thinking maybe he was concerned about a domestic violence dispute in our house, and that he was too wussy to come downstairs and knock himself (this is only funny for a reason that I cannot say on the blog, but trust me that it’s funny. just that he has “connections” so he should not be such a wus) or that he really hated pinesol and called the landlord about it. Because come on, it was stinky, but we didn’t die. And plus he smokes the stinkiest stinkiest cigarettes in the entire world, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the smell that comes down through his vents.
I thought it was over but last night when I was out at the BBQ the neighbor walked by and asked if we were all ok with the pinesol smell. I smiled politely and said yes, that Aaron just hadn’t diluted it. He then proceeds to tell me that it was so horrible that he couldn’t go in his house for two days, and had to keep the windows open all night (great, we share the heating bill). Even though I just smiled on the outside, on the inside I was like wah wah, really, you are a grown man who calls the landlord about PINESOL??? When we have NEVER called about your 3am ultra-loud dance parties or your stanky smoke smell, or how you think that the entire carport is yours and park accordingly? Silly silly man. I won’t miss you when we move.
Amazingly enough, our Long Bean keeps getting older. And bigger. And more funner.
This month was a busy one, full of lots of rolling over, scooting, growing teeth (two!), meeting new friends, and eating lots of tasty foods. The favorite food? Prunes. He is our little tiger who loves to growl, loves to grab with his claws, and loves to sink his teeth into whatever he can get near his mouth. He is a huge flirt, and makes new girlfriends everywhere he goes. We’re still big fans. Here you must now enjoy some photos… (Videos and more photos here)
PS It’s kind of slobbery but you can sort of see one of the two teeth in the bottom left photo.
Now, I should be clear, there are a lot of horrible TV shows out there. From the boringest of boring to the awfulest of awful. But not all shows hold my attention. There are plenty of shows that I will pass by and not give it a second thought.
But then there are THOSE shows. You know what I mean. The trainwrecks you can’t look away from. For example, this week I ended up watching a show about 6-year-old beauty queens. Although I was most horrified and worried for the self-esteem of those little girls, I could not for the life of me stop watching. I kept thinking “man, this is awful, I should really not even watch this” but no. I watched the entire thing.
I mean really people, where is my self control? If I have to watch more than 5 minutes of world war two planes on the history international channel I may kill myself, but you put on the national cheerleading championship and I am hooked. And ultimately embarrassed.
I question myself, why would you have such horrible taste? I wonder why I can’t get into shows that other people seem to like such as Lost or Heroes, but yet I get sucked into House (which I HATE) or even sometimes Dr. Phil!!! (This is like the worst confession ever, I had no idea the post was going in this direction)
Anyway, to all the horrible TV shows out there that suck me in, I hate you. I really do. Even if there is nothing better on, there are always books to be read and sleep to be had, dvds to be watched, and food to be eaten. May my confession lead me to better TV judgement.
PS If you want to tell me how good Lost or Heroes or House or whatever is, save your breath. Or your typings. Or whatever.
Ours does.
First of all, after many pleadings from his father, Harmon will again be regularly featured on this blog. So just deal with it. The rest of you who want to read every last thing about him, he will still maintain his own blog.
Friday night Harmon decided to stay up all night, or at least to get up every 45 min or hour to cry. We thought maybe it was just for fun, but instead Saturday morning his gums parted and out came a little tooth. Well part of it. On the bottom right. Saturday night he decided to repeat just for fun, but by Sunday night thought it was old and went back to sleeping more. He is working on all four front teeth at the same time, and I would not be surprised to see the other bottom one within a week and the tops soon thereafter.
Today our Long Bean decided that the location of tummy time was boring, and decided to stick his rear into the air and push off his legs to move forward. Add some army crawl arms, and much to my dismay my child is moving himself forward a bit. Now I’m going to have to clean the floors 😛 At least Aaron is happy!
