Seis Puerqueños

9 months seems kind of like a special time because it marks the amount of time Harmon spent in my belly, and now how much time he has been out. This month he has continued eating everything in sight, saying a fair amount of (sort of) words, started crawling, and gone swimming a lot. This month he got himself weighed and measured: Height: 29.9″ (92nd percentile) Weight: 19 lbs 9 oz (33rd percentile) Head: 48.3cm (98th percentile) So, he is a tall SMCB (skinny mini cracker butt, don’t ask) with a giant head brain. Here are the requisite photos and some videos to enjoy should you so desire. More here.

Say Mama! Ok, or up.

We bribe our child with a pen to encourage army crawling.

The day we went to get my ultrasound we were sitting in the waiting area with several other people. Aaron was on my right, and to his right was an older gentleman, say 70s, and to his right kitty-corner his wife of the same age range.

Aaron and I were looking at a travel magazine that boasted “Islands on Sale”. Aaron was excited because he thought it was “Islands for Sale” but it was just vacation island “deals”. I of course was making snarky comments, because when they say “oh look a nice island trip for only $5,000 instead of the $6,500 it usually costs!” your automatic response should always be “oh great! now we can afford it!” Or when saying there is a “deal” on going to Crete I said “why would anyone want to go there when they could go to the other Greek islands?” (I know, I’m a total brat). We were mostly just being silly to entertain ourselves, when the lady leans to her husband and says in a semi-hushed voice:

“I don’t like her”
“What?”
“I don’t like her” (louder, but still pretending to whisper)
“What?”
“I DON’T LIKE HER” (they both look at me, while I am trying to not laugh or look at them)
“Oh.” and he goes back to reading.

I know my voice isn’t the most pleasant, or maybe she was from/loves Crete, but really lady, I can hear you, even if your husband can’t.

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Today I met my dad and brother at Subway for our weekly lunch. We went to my dad’s “favorite” Subway, where they know him and know his “usual”. Today after making his usual the lady turns to me and says “the veggie delight for you?” I swear I’m pregnant, not fat, but thanks for the vote of confidence. But she did give us cookies on the house after that, so we can still be friends.

At my last midwife appointment they changed my due date. Later by 12 days. Because inside baby was measuring small. It’s kind of rude, but I think I will survive. Maybe. What if I’m just growing a small baby to compensate for the last giant one? I suppose when I go for another ultrasound to check the size again in another month maybe the baby will have grown back to normal size. Of course Harmon was “normal” size at this point, so what use will that be?

Old due date: November 29th
New due date: December 11th

Jama told me to have the baby by Christmas. I told her that was not funny. Then I realized that December 11th plus 14 days (the most they will let you go overdue) is the 25th. So rude.

Also I just calculated that tomorrow I will be 20 weeks, instead of almost 2 weeks ago like I thought. Sheesh.

Recently I have been locked out of several blogs when they went private (maybe I missed the going private memo?). And I was sad. If you are reading this and went private but still like me, let me back in, I don’t have your email. This is my sad face

Dear Lady in the parking garage elevator at Bellevue Square on Saturday,

Thank you for knowing that I was pregnant and not fat, I love you.

xoxoxo,
Kelsey

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Dear guy picking his nose and swerving into my lane on the freeway,

Yuck. And please don’t make me die for such a stupid reason.

Drive careful,
Kelsey

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Dear Midwife who told me to eat more food,

You are the best. I raise this Oreo as a toast in your honor.

Fully,
Kelsey

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Dear Group Health Parking Lot architect,

You need to go back to school and try again.

Those spots wouldn’t fit Geos,
Kelsey

Awesome scary skeleton face!!!!

I mean GIRL!!!

Maybe you’ve seen this before, but I hadn’t. Enjoy.

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

Dear T-Mobile,

I have been your loyal customer for years. It’s not that you have the best service, the best customer service reps, or anything like that. Quite frankly it’s just because you are the cheapest for the most minutes. That used to be good when I used the phone a lot. I find nowadays I have less time for talking, and when I have the time, I’d really rather use it for sleeping. Hence our family plan is just not working out for us. But we are loyal. We checked out your prepaid plans (ok, and everyone else’s) and yours was the cheapest so we thought we’d stay. Plus you offered us benefits like keeping our phone numbers.

But you are evil T-Mobile, very evil. I first called you almost a month ago to make the switch. You told me you would transfer me and the next department would finish up my change. That person told me I had to wait 24 hours because my account was being switched. And it never got switched. Surprise, I had to pay you another month of my monthly bill, thanks.

And then, I called back yesterday and got it all set up, but had to get transfered to that second department to finish, but in the meantime you disconnected me. I called back but kept getting told (by the computer voice lady) that my phone number was now prepaid, and would be transfered to the prepaid department. And then it would ask for my number again and we would go round and round. Eventually I yelled representative enough that you gave me a real person. Everything was set, it would switch within 24 hours and I could add minutes when it did on my phone.

Well, it switched this afternoon. And now I have no service. So I used skype to call you to try to give you money. After 25 minutes going through both the automated service then a representative, you have sent me to a “security verification process” and put me on hold. How long have I been on hold? Long enough to write this entire blog.

Did I mention I am trying to GIVE YOU MONEY??? Money to you. I don’t want money back. I don’t want anything except you to turn my phone on and to give you more money to make it work. Why are you so cruel, after all my years of faithfulness?

I should have known better,

Kelsey

You just looked at several pictures of Harmon, but here is one more of him wearing some sweet old Nike’s that were either mine or Justin’s.

Month 7-8 for Harmon was quite busy. He got his passport and ventured out of the country, took a road trip to Montana and played with all his aunts and uncles and cousins on dad’s side (but we missed Jayde!), went camping, moved to his second house, got his own room, learned to say “mas” & “hola” (but won’t say hola now), found Ecuadorian babies bigger than him, ate lots and lots of new and delicious foods, practiced rolling from place to place, developed a new loud scream, got frustrated a lot from not crawling, flirted with lots of ladies, and much much more. Harmon loves to eat, loves to be held, and loves to laugh. And we love him. The end.