Mr. Blue Corvette Driver,
First let me say that your car is ugly. Why did you get that color? Was it 50% off? Was it a gift? Yuck.
Second and more importantly, please do not hit pedestrians while they are in the crosswalk (and started crossing even before you were there) at the lovely crossroads mall parking lot. I realize you didn’t actually hit someone, but you came awfully close to hitting me, making me wonder if you didn’t even see me? How could you not, I almost exclusively wear bright green shirts, and have a huge belly. And, if you had not sped off in such a hurry, and had parked anywhere nearby, we would be having this conversation in person instead of you having to read it on my blog. Seriously. There was a big sign. There was a crosswalk. I am pregnant. I will destroy you if I find you again. (Come on, how many blue corvettes are there?) Trust me if my reaction time was any better you would have had a nice thud on your car from my purse. Darn slowness.
Third, this part is not to you, but to the guys sitting on the bench watching the spectacle of you trying to take my life and me throwing my arms up in anger/disgust/rage. Thanks for shouting out to me “He tried to kill you!” It made me feel like I was not overreacting in the slightest. And when I shouted back to you “and I’ve got a baby in here” and you shouted back “I know it!”, I appreciated that. Holla.
Fourth, your car is ugly, you are bad at driving, and I am pregnant. Don’t mess with me again or you will be sorry.
Thoughtfully,
Kelsey
I would like to write them all letters and shove them up their bums.
That dude is lucky that I wasn’t in there, cuz I would’ve pulled a T-1000 (Terminator 2) on him and chased him down. I don’t stand for that kind of crap!!
Makes you wonder what his track record is like? What a complete and utter jerk.
Uncle Dave told me a long time ago, that when he is running he assumes everyone on the road is going to hit him. I guess you could apply that in this situation.
Glad you two are safe. xoxo AP
PS You are HILARIOUS!! And I would have had a few choice words to share with him myself had I been there. I’m glad you’re OK.
Oh my, Kelsey, you make me laugh!! Please don’t stop writing these letters, I love them!
Where is your mother when you need her? She would have tracked him down, followed him, and bumped into his fugly ass with her own vehicle. You know it.