Last week I agreed to do something ultimately crazy. I have done a lot of crazy things in my life, like bungee jumping, having excessively large children, and drinking Army Surplus water from my grandma’s food storage room marked 1952, but never have I decided to do something as crazy as what I will be doing for the next four weeks.
Somehow I managed to sign myself up to play an improve your health (get skinnier) “game”. Taken from the book The Game On! Diet by Krista Vernoff and Az Ferguson, my team and I will be competing against two other teams for a full Saturday of babysitting and a lovely cash prize for the highest points scorer.
Oh sure, you say, it’s just eating healthy and exercising, and it’s really strict, but so what? So what?! First of all, I am pretty sure that if you cut me open you would find my entire insides are made up of french fries and coke. I was once told by a trainer that I was “skinny, all made up of fat”. Me and exercise don’t mix very well. Somehow I ran cross country a couple years in high school, but I am pretty sure that mostly entailed stopping at Dairy Queen before, and always coming in last in every race. I should confess that although my insides are comprised of things found at McDonalds, I really do like healthy foods, I eat a lot of them, and a lot of really unhealthy foods too.
Secondly I should point out that this “game” is intense. It includes things such as drinking 3 liters of water each day, 5 small sanctioned meals (kale yes, french fries no), not to mention I have to quit using my cell phone while driving (oops) and sleep at least 7 hours a night.
So for the next four weeks I would appreciate everyone eating extra fries and coke for me (especially people on the other teams) and the ceasing and desisting of all delicious treats being brought to my house. Also if I am extra stabby for the next four weeks, you will know why.
P.S. I am going to win. Then I am going to spend all my money on coke and fries.