"Wizard"

[So I asked Aaron’s permission before writing this, just so you know. But he didn’t proofread, maybe he should have thought of that though.]

Aaron has a serious problem. When we first started dating he would on a rare occasion grow a crazy eyebrow hair. You know what I mean, the kind that old men get, that are all kinked and stick out insane-like. My former step-dad Todd calls them “Wizard Hairs” I assume because to be a wizard you have to have eyebrows made completely out of them.

Anyway, somewhere along the way I convinced Aaron to let me pull these out of his eyebrow when they would appear, thus restoring his youthful look. Because really, who wants crazy eyebrow hairs? No one.

And now my wonderful husband is continuing in his aging process. He grows them a lot more frequently and abundantly. He still removes them, or at least did until just recently. One day studying himself in the mirror he found several wizard hairs in his right eyebrow, but also noticed that the outer edge of his eyebrow was missing! He was pretty traumatized, but I made him feel better by telling him he could quit computers and become a full time wizard very soon. He conceded that being a wizard would probably be a good job, but still seemed a bit sad that his eyebrows were on their way to extinction/full on wizardry.

Just now I made him let me look at his eyebrow to make sure it was the right one, and he said: “It’s like I’ve got a comb over, but I don’t comb it.”

So let this be a lesson to all of you with wizard hair trying to grow in your eyebrows: don’t let your wife convince you to pull them out. Unless you are are thinking about getting eyebrow hairplugs. Then you can probably go ahead and pluck.

PS When you call your husband “Wizard” make sure to say it like they do on that stupid phone commercial where they summon the wizard from the side of the van. It makes him happy.