(alternately titled: Guess Who’s Getting A Chop Today?!)
This is my 26-year-old brother’s new favorite phrase to use on people who complain about seemingly insignificant problems instead of focusing on global issues like getting tent coats for all the people in Seattle protesting. (Sorry Justin, I couldn’t resist.) Today I present to you, my very urgent and important First World Problem.
Yesterday I bought a giant bag of Halloween candy at the grocery store that contained 4 types of candy. Big Tootsie Roll log things, Charleston Chews, Dots, and Junior Mints. This seemed like a great pack, not only because it was the cheapest, but also everyone has a different favorite in the pack so we would not be all fighting over the same candy.
Naturally I opened the bag in the car to get a pack of Junior Mints for myself, and Dots for the kids. After dinner I got the kids Dots and Aaron and I both had Tootsie Rolls. Later in the evening Aaron had a Junior Mints. Right before bed I went to find myself a Junior Mints. And I had to dig. And dig. And scoot. And dig. And then I found a pack. But this worried me. This was a 55 piece bag and this was only Junior Mints number 3, where were the rest? At this point it was obviously an emergency so I ripped the bag all the way open and dumped it on the ground.
People, there were no more Junior Mints. In a bag of 55 pieces of candy with only 4 different types, there was only THREE of one of the types. THREE!!!!
Tootsie Roll Company: WE ARE FIGHTING!
P.S. Did you know that Tootsie Roll makes Junior Mints? Now you do.