Dear "Great Clips" Guy,

Dear Guy Who “Fixed” My Hair at Great Clips Yesterday,

I am not sure fixed is really the right term. Although you did one thing that I asked, you did not do any of the others. I am pretty sure I could have cut the mullet off myself. I believe my instructions were as follows:

Please help me. I did this to myself. I would like you to cut off the big long part in back, and make all my hair even looking as possible.

You countered with:

So make this left side match the right, and cut off the long part in the back?


Exactly. Also my husband has some instructions.


I think it should follow this line [a-line] on both sides like how it currently is. Just make the other side match. and then layers in the back to kind of match.


Ok. I totally got it.

But you didn’t get it, did you? I knew from your first cut that it was over for what remained of my hair. But what can you do? You can’t argue with someone with scissors. Also I knew that you couldn’t put on the hair you just cut off (which I think was almost as much as I cut off!!!) so my best hope was to just let you finish and hope it turned out even. I guess I was asking too much, and I should have known better.

I have included this diagram for you to realize where you went wrong:

A: We are not even going to talk about the back. It is horrifying. Luckily I don’t have to look at it.
B: Layers. You had the right idea, just very poorly executed
C: Where are the layers? You could have done me the favor of at least chunking out as much from this side as well.
D: This is not straight, or even good-looking/on purpose not straight. Also that part on the outside shouldn’t be longer, because it’s not in the front like an a-line
E: Did you see D? It should MATCH. Actually, since this side goes up, you should just go ahead and cut off more of D to make them even.

Additionally, thanks again for taking off another 4 inches from my already too short hair. I will make sure to send all my friends to you.

Thinking of shaving my head,


P.S. I am pretty sure if you smoke it’s ok to take ONE second to wash your hands before putting them all stinky-like in my hair. Thanks.

P.P.S. This photos doesn’t do the awfulness of the hair-fix justice. It only does justice to the scary-lookingness of my face.

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16 Responses to Dear "Great Clips" Guy,

  1. Casey says:

    I'm so sorry! I've never had any luck with the great clips type places. They always mess up my hair. I'd find someone else and give it another shot. :)

  2. Erin says:

    Oh Kelsey, your poor hair. Call Crystal.
    PS Nate forgot his prize and is sad.

  3. Jacki says:

    I will send you a twenty dollar bill if you shave it. Anyone else in?

  4. Rachel says:

    I'll send you a dollar.

  5. Caelin says:

    u should have gone to hair masters or that other place i go to

  6. Kiera says:

    This is one of the funniest things I have read in a LONG time. It is so you and I love it. I am sorry about the bad haircut. Just remember what I told you about fast grow-outs durning pregnancy! You are beautiful inside and out regardless of your hairstyle. :) this is from Catrena, not Kiera. I don't know why it looks like it is coming from her? perhaps because I am a complete loser on the computer!

  7. Crystal says:

    I'm sorry Kelsey, but I was laughing so hard I thought I would bust some of my c-section stitches! Priceless! What about trying a pixie cut?

  8. Li'l Aly says:

    Yep find a pro, no cost cutters of any kind one you have to make an appointment for, and do a Demi Moore in Ghost style. Its the only way to avoid several more hair cuts to come.

  9. sherryandbryon says:

    Haha… Kelsey, I'm sorry! I was laughing out loud though. I had an experience like that at a great clips type place once, when a man wearing tight black leather pants gave me bangs that went about 1/2 way back on my head! They were hideous. More of my hair was going towards the bangs than the long part! Haha… good thing hair grows! But, if you decide to, I would be fully supportive of you shaving your head. Being bald has A LOT of nice advantages. :)

  10. amy says:

    Trumping Jacki. You shave yours, I'll shave mine. After two years of monstrously hideous hair, it's kinda become my thing.

    Or twenty bucks, you know, whatever gets the job done.

  11. Jacki says:

    Trumped. But I am still good for the twenty.

  12. shadylady says:

    You are correct. That is adding insult to injury…. bad haircuts redeemingly can grow out.

  13. Christie says:

    Oh Kelsey! I'm sooo sorry! I can cut it for you! Let me know! BTW I'M LAUGHING SO HARD! So bad!

  14. Robert says:

    Well, Kelsey, it had to happen to someone and I am glad it happened to you! Anyone else may have gone to prison for what they would have done to someone who claimed to have known what they were doing. (Myself included) Only you could turn this into one of the most hilarious experiences ever! I am almost in tears laughing! Bwhahahahahaaahahhaha!

  15. PJ says:

    Oh honey I'm very, very sorry. I've been cutting my own hair forever, for the very reasons you mentioned.

  16. Jen says:

    Man, this blog made my day. You're hilarious, I miss talking to you and hope your hair grows back to your satisfaction! And congratulations on #2 almost being here!

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